I’m having my usual array of internet problems this morning. Email seems to all from last night. internet browses spinning endlessly.

I’m still waking up —after half an hour and a cup of coffee—I’m certain now that I will need a second cup!

The pups are curled up with us on the sofa and I’m feeling like “how did we go so long without Chihuahuas in our lives? How could we miss out on being so happy?”

We’re in a very lemon tree kind of mood today. Luz went out and harvested herbs to cook up with their eggs for breakfast. “It’s just like in your book,” I said to them.

The other night I was explaining to Luz all my queer hagiographix. Dinfa and Sta Barbara = Delgadina. The Morisco tale of the handless maiden. And how I got started on Dinfa because she’s the patron of Alzheimers and Dementia but also depression.

And then Luz was telling me about Adilia’s presentation on the aires in their Latina Feminisms class, and how the students were really into it and how Luz felt like they were getting it for the first time. And I couldn’t actually remember too much about the aires.

And Luz said how they could be subject to weather or locations or trauma,

and then I got really excited and told Luz how that I felt that when we lived in Mora, my mom was afflicted by the aire that my Grandma Libby had lived through—isolation and loneliness and helplessness. And they both had to escape. And maybe my dad was also afflicted by the spirits of his father, or reacting against them. But that the place was full of emotion and trauma and haunting.

And Luz got really excited and told me what a great project that would be.

And I asked “but what form? fiction? creative non-fiction?”

And Luz says, “you don’t even need to be bound by that. You can just Borderlands it, essay, poetry, stories.”

Borderlands it.

Fronterizalo.

Well, I’m happy to be able to write all this, because in addition to my internet woes, my journal was frying out on me. I wonder if my new computer will make it easier or harder.

Yesterday I finished up my tenth bear, so I now have a whole box ready to ship to Minnesota.

Christine took my Dad boot-shopping yesterday and it was a total stress-fest. Two hours, and he didn’t even seem happy at the end. He didn’t buy the pair that was comfortable but the pair that was on sale. Sal sent a video too, which showed him confused and Christine kind of disengaged, on her phone. But also showed her on her knees helping him. But what I really noticed was how pale my dad looked. She was really frustrated (and I couldn’t imagine being in her place and not having a meltdown) but she handled it all and I tried to reassure her.

Oh, I’d better call my dad now and wish him a happy birthday!

I ordered him boot accessories (a boot jack and boot pullers) but unfortunately, they’re coming to my house instead of to his.

(sad face)

Liliana Hueso just shared the artwork of Sabrina Zarco: really amazing embroidery: it’s like mural/graffiti colcha!

I think my Muslim shirt is headed to Luz’s pile soon. It’s really pulling across the chest.

Still haven’t called my dad!

Alright, one more thing I need to note. We tidied up this morning and I spent an inordinate amount of time rolling balls of yarn for future bears. And one thing that has really been bothering me is that Claudia, one of the members of the Good Things Together Mother Bear project, recently sent me a welcome pack, which was super sweet. And included several balls of yarn, including one called Caffe Latte which she said in her note, is her favorite color to use for bears. Like bear skin color. Basically because it’s light enough to show details but it’s not so light as to be Caucasian (my words, not hers). And I’m all like, yeah, it’s paper bag brown, so basically you’re using the paper back test to determine the appropriate complexion for bears for African children. None of whom have that color skin.

Yeah, the the things that get under my skin sometimes.

Rankle.

That was a big word in romance novels. “Does that still rankle?” I think the authors were British.

Or, maybe I’ll call my dad on the drive to the city!